Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day 11: Wheels Up

In five hours that's where we'll be, en route to the historic city of Boston via Atlanta.

(Aside: NOT a fan of Hartsfield Airport. In fact it may be first on my list of airports I do not love, just ahead of O'Hare.)

(Another aside: Pandora has been my friend through this long night. I've been amazingly productive and the music has been right. Now playing: Blue Monday by New Order.)

I'm quite excited actually, even though the run-up to this has been kind of a stressful pain in the ass. Trying to coordinate a housing search has been hit-and-miss. M has been on a manic schedule as well and we've had to work extra hard to be calm about everything. Mostly successful but obviously there is a lot riding on the next few days. The most important part is signing a lease. We will sign a lease.

So the main thing is to make a good choice. Learning a major city's ins and outs from a distance of 1,500 miles has to be considered a fool's errand. But I've tried and I have several great prospects lined up over the next few days.

So that, and the fact that I managed to get my interview prep done tonight for my big interview next Tuesday is a big boost to my state of mind.

A major life change is going to be stressful in the best of circumstances. It's even more so when you are uprooting from something familiar and comfortable to something strange and slightly intimidating. But as the great Ani DiFranco says, "Would you prefer the easy way? Well then OK, don't cry."

Yes, elements of this are going to be hard. I will be far away from my immediate family. They've supported me and us in so many ways in the time we have been here. But moving will bring M closer to her family. Moving will be from a small, easy place to navigate to a huge, difficult place to navigate. I've never used public transportation much; that's going to change in a big way. Here, I can get to a store, restaurants, a park, the library, the square, the scene on foot very easily. Further, weather's rarely a factor. All that is likely to change substantially in a few weeks.

At the same time, the job market is infinitely better, and that puts a huge feather in my cap. Ask me again in a few months. My career has stalled here. M also has pretty much made it as far as she can here. We need a bigger circle. We're about to get it.

I feel better. I feel... taller. I am upbeat, I am optimistic. This is some fresh air and it's hit me just in the last 48 hours or so. I was stressing big-time and of course there is still some of that in the air. But it's just not something that will help me in any way. So I had a little talk with myself and advised cutting that loose. So far, so good.

This is a good thing. I've felt for many years that the term "growing pains" was an accurate condition. Growth is sometimes difficult. It is sometimes painful. That doesn't make it bad. It just makes it something you have to cope with. And that's OK. Yes, it hurts to leave a place, probably forever, that has had a major impact on my life. There are friends I may never have a cold beverage or a meal with again. Who knows? I hope that I keep those special places and people, but maybe I won't. That's sad but at the same time, there are people I do not yet know, things I have not experienced, places I have not seen, good times I have not had that await. And I get to have those new experiences with my beloved M.

And that is damned thrilling. Let's get to it.

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