Thursday, April 25, 2013

Iron Man

I am Iron Man.

I love the movie series much more than I ever liked the comic books. And I admit to being a child of the 70s and listening to Black Sabbath. It's funny to me now that Sabbath was considered so heavy at the time.

But I am Iron Man.

Because I don't really know why, but I just continue to believe. It's not just pie-in-the-sky, Stuart Smalley optimism; after all, I can be as Debbie Downer as anyone. Example: What's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is an optimist with experience.

I know enough about myself to know what I am capable of. It's all a matter of application -- if I am properly motivated and determined, my achievement potential is very high.

The mind does strange things sometimes. Does everyone grapple with self-doubt? I think they do, but having self-doubt is something that people don't always admit. Do accomplished people ever feel like failures?

Last night I saw an interview among comedians Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Bill Hader and Ben Stiller. Each told of having awful on-stage experiences. Carrey told one particularly horrifying story of being chased offstage.

I think part of strength is to be able to be honest with one's self. And another part is to present outwardly an image of control, of never showing any equivocation. However, there's a difference between self-confidence and bravado. Some people never allow themselves to be seen as anything but supremely in-charge. And I think that is unrealistic.

Yeah, I get down.

But I always get back up. You have to.

Being a bit of a perfectionist means that you tend to obsess on failures. I still remember the major mistake in my Texas Stadium piece, an award-winning effort. Yet I don't think about the 16 pages of excellence, just the one paragraph that was totally incorrect.

That's not fair to myself.

I think about the failed relationships, but all that only helps me treasure the best one I have now.

I think about not leaving school with a degree; then I remember all the great jobs I got without it, and going back to get it in 2008.

I think about the things I don't have, then remember everything I do have.

I always get back up. Because I'm Iron Man. And I'm going to win. I don't know exactly the shape of it, or the timing. I just know it's going to happen.

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